Drafts on Perspective : A Call From Bob
I work very hard to not take my life for granted. The times I have to work the hardest are when I hear about how exciting other peoples lives are in comparison to mine. I have shared that we are entrepreneurs and while that, in and of itself, is not exactly playing it safe, owning businesses and contracting does keep one rather tethered down, at least physically. When I look at Instagram pictures of friends lying on beaches or hiking jungle trails or sipping a café au lait in distant countries, I get a longing in my heart. I try to satisfy it with taking a new route to the coffee shop, but it’s just not the same.
Friends that are crushing it at work, getting promotions, books deals and awards trigger me to look around and think . . . what have I done lately? My awards are getting dusty. My work is quiet and mostly unnoticed, unless you count picking up dye-free laundry soap a win, because I pulled the trigger on that one. Why is it our lives so often feel like an old sweater we have had forever; it’s comfortable and does the job of keeping us warm, but putting it on is not something we are going to post about. Who would appreciate that old pullover with the coffee-stained sleeve and frayed hem?
I was at the “office” — my local coffeehouse and I ran into a co-worker (another person who uses said coffee shop as an office). We are both sorely lacking in the work environment area so have decided to be cohorts and pretend we have important meetings, which is mostly him buying me coffee and cookies while we discuss life. Just like in a real office, right? One day, at a very important meeting (someone has to eat those cookies) he told me about a call he received from his friend Bob. This call from Bob has proven to be a much needed source of perspective for both of us.
My co-worker hadn’t heard from Bob in some years so the phone call was basically a catching up on life. My cookie supplier (his favorite title) has had an interesting life (insert challenging for interesting and then insert crazy for challenging); let’s just say he has made some bad choices and his life has reflected those choices. So his life looked “interesting.” He has since made good choices and now his world reflects those good choices. So he preceded to tell Bob about his life; he described living in a great little beach town that looks like a postcard, how he bikes to a coffee shop and is greeted by name, and can name good friends that genuinely care about him . The more he describes his life to Bob, the more Bob gets excited on the other end of the phone call.
“Wow! Your life sounds just wonderful.” Bob exclaims.
It made my friend put down his cup of coffee and get a little misty-eyed while thinking about what his life looked like through Bob’s eyes.
My life, as well, could have taken so many different turns. I made a lot of bad choices myself. And in all fairness, my life could look pretty bleak, but instead I have been on the receiving end of grace. Spiritually, I could be living in a dry and desolate land. While I love the beauty of a desert and the thorny cacti, it is something to be admired from afar, but nobody wants to live there. It is too hot and too thirsty. I want to live spiritually near a water source where I can cool off from the heat of life and get a drink anytime I want. Adventure has its gleam (and its time) but when you have a family and jobs, it tends to take a backseat.
We so often long for the things we don’t have; I know I do. I have friends that long to be married with small children and I have friends with scores of small children who long to do anything and everything one cannot do with small children. We say it’s just human nature. And perhaps it is, or perhaps it’s something deeper. It’s a longing that will never be satisfied, but we think it will if we can just take that trip to Europe or get a part time job away from our families or meet the right person. If we looked like her or had his brains or had what they have or . . . and the list goes on.
It’s a lie of the desert, the pretty flowers hiding the sharp needles of the succulents. They poke our hearts and say we aren't enough, we aren’t pretty enough or smart enough or clever enough. They say our lives aren’t enough. And we look around, wanting more, thinking it will satisfy us and it never will. We all sometimes need a call from Bob, someone to point out the sweet spots in our life. How far we have come when it could have turned out so different—but for the grace of God.
My friend Tracy and I are often “a call from Bob,” but we take it to an extreme (this is who we are). Tracy called me because they had an undetected leak in their roof and part of their bedroom wall was rotting! She was pretty upset because it would be a major fix. But luckily for her, I just watched a documentary on the Irish Potato Famine and I had more perspective than I knew what to do with. So, she got to have a big ole’ dose of what a little problem this actually was when she could be starving and living in a dank little hovel. Now granted this is not what she was looking for when she called me, but she did laugh and say, “well, when you put it that way.” We often refer to the “potato famine” when consoling each other. We still have problems but when we hold them next to events like World War II or famines or even what life would look like without indoor pluming, our perspective gets a kick in the teeth.
Sometimes the Lord uses “a call from Bob” to remind us of the beauty and blessings in our lives and that thing we think we need to have to be content . . . is just a door to the next thing we think we will need.
Write about your own personal “call from Bob.”
Journal about how perspective has changed you when your circumstances didn’t change.
Notes on Publishing
For those of you looking to dive into the world of publishing, I suggested in a previous post that you start with a list of writing topics. Review post here in the Notes on publishing section.
Now it’s time to look for a place you could send your work. Don’t let compensation play a role at this point. Write for free or very little; you just want to get a credit to your name. Check out local papers, magazines or websites. What are their needs? Does anything overlap with what you could possibly write about? I covered restaurant reviews for a local magazine for a bit, it hardly covered the cost of me checking out these places, but it was fun and gave me a regular byline. You could try book reviews which may add up to a free book or maybe there is a new and growing parenting website that you follow, which might be open to looking at your work.
Look around, pay attention to what is happening in your community print-wise and check out new sites that need content. I also looked at very knish publications that probably don’t get as many submissions. My second published piece was in a lovely little magazine most people have never even heard of called Tea Magazine. I published my story, “Tea and Toast” about the comfort of tea. Perhaps you love sewing or glass blowing, find a publication that speaks to this specific passion.
A great resource for finding publications looking for writers is the Writer’s Market (so many publications you have never even heard of). This source is updated every other year and I use it to find both places I want to write for and possible homes for already written pieces. There are also Writer’s Markets for specific needs such as fiction and poetry. I also love to spend an hour at a bookstore flipping through magazines where I would love to someday see my byline.
After you find a couple options of where to send your work, we will next tackle the crafting of that query letter.
