Your flight has been canceled! How many times have we arrived to the terminal to be told those soul-crushing words. We had a plan. A ticket, even, as proof of the direction (literally) our life was headed. We had it all mapped out only to be told we would not be partaking in those particular plans. Has there ever been a more fitting metaphor for life? When we are young we make such grand plans. With nary a thought for cost, delays or an entire re-routing. We say such things as, “I shall never get married” or “I will have three kids, two boys and a girl,” with no concept of any interference. We boldly pronounce that we will leave town as soon as we can, securing a flat in a faraway country or a lavish ocean-front home. Dreams are free. Free of cost, free of reality. Free of the entanglements and strange twists of life. But all too often dreams get canceled.

We are just coming off the holidays and I always try to make a point of watching It’s a Wonderful Life. I have seen this movie more times than I can count; I even acted in the play in college. The older I get the more I realize just what George gave up. I’m sure you are familiar with the movie, but in a slight recap, George Bailey has big plans. He grows up dreaming of travel and excitement. In one scene he is purchasing a suitcase for his adventures. The first piece of luggage he is shown is met with a head shake, no that is not big enough! It will never hold the numerous stickers from all the countries he plans to visit. He has a life plan and it is getting out of his little town to see the world. Bag in hand he heads out to say goodbye to friends and family. But, alas, George never puts one sticker on that suitcase. It turns out he didn’t need the extra large one, or for that matter, any luggage at all. That life was canceled.

Do you have a suitcase in your closet for that life you never lived? Most of us do. Have you packed up a wedding dress that never walked down an aisle or put away baby clothes that were never used? Did you plan to finish college and got sidetracked by a baby? The move to Paris or Rome never materialized and you live in the same town where you grew up. The job pays the bills, but you had dreams of a career in fashion or owning your own restaurant. You thought you would go out to conquer the world, but instead you deal with chronic pain or depression and conquering the day is all you can manage. Or you were going to show your kids the world and everything you loved as a child, but they live in their own quiet world that you can’t quite reach.

Most of us are George Bailey with a life unlived. We did the right thing, we stepped up when a parent needed help, we held back when a child needed us. We pay the medical bills instead of booking that voyage. We take in a struggling friend or we do rounds of endless doctor appointments with our spouse. We put the suitcase in the closet and shut the door. Perhaps you made a series of wrong decisions. Invested in the wrong person, left when you should have stayed, stayed when you should have left. Either way you feel like George when it all starts to cave in around you. You look longingly at the empty suitcase and think if only . . .

We Make Resolutions (And Then Life Happens)

So here we sit in the foothills of the mountain that is this year; this decade even, and we are asked to make New Year’s resolutions. To write down what we hope to achieve these next 365 days. I can strive to write more, have less clutter in my house and find something to be thankful for each day. But the truth is I will forget about these small goals in a month’s time. We never talk about these aspirations in March or July. They are long forgotten because life happens. We move again, someone gets sick, someone gets born, we switch jobs, we age. There are triumphs of course. We meet the right person, we get a promotion, we start a business, we finish school. But the trouble with even achievements is that they fade. In It’s a Wonderful Life, George has wonderful things happen. He marries a lovely woman, has four children, helps countless friends, grows the business and supports his country during wartime. He is a beloved pillar of his community.

I do not for one minute think, if George had left town that day and taken his trip, we wouldn’t be having this same discussion—it would just be in reverse. He would have traveled, but never found, say, love or real meaning. He would see the world, but have no sense of home. We humans are genius at longing for what we do not have. If it wasn’t that thing, it would be another. I’m easily tricked into thinking, if I had what I wanted, than I wouldn’t want what I have now. That if I had gotten on that “flight,” I would be happier somehow. I would have a wonderful life. But it is a lie. If we travel, we long for home. If we are secure, we want adventure. If we have responsibilities, we want none and if we have none, we ache for them. We are funny, fickle creatures. Always chasing something. Always wanting more . . . or less.

We are always chasing something.

Always wanting more … or less

I can tell you my perfect life as I’m sure you can tell me yours. We are told the trick is balance. But we can’t, no matter how hard we try, stay in balance; we just hit it once and while, on the way to being out of balance. I’m all for being mindful and intentional. Make New Year’s goals; I did! But what the Bible says in Philippians 4: 11-13 is true; we must learn to be content in whatever state we find ourselves—in plenty and in need. I’m always in both these spots in various parts of my life. Flush with friendships, but struggling at work or dry spiritually but in good health. The life I wanted is not this. How could it be? I long for balance, for perfection and something is always out of sync.

If I could make it all work, I would not need a Savior. My goals are sweet, but small. They speak to the here and now which will never, ever be enough. I can have the best marriage, kids, job, vacations and it would not come close to being enough. One of the greatest blessings in my life are friends, as dear as sisters, and family I enjoy like friends, but it is only a taste of what I long for. Achieving dreams is amazing. I met a goal of getting over 100 pieces published and it was rather exciting and a feather in my cap; but it does not give my soul purpose, it is merely a feather, ornamental. I very much wanted our unique little house with the wall of windows and mid-century modern fixtures, but I have to be very careful not to complain about its lack of a second bathroom and doors that don’t close tight. Opening our own business was exciting, but at the end of the day, it’s a job, and a hard job at that. All the dreams that do come true are still not enough.

God knew it would never be enough. Our bodies were not designed to die, but to live. Our hearts were not created for envy and longing, but for a perfect, complete love. Our minds are meant for good, for edifying thoughts, not negative and evil imaginings. We use our liberty to create bad as well as good. We are victims of others’ free will and they are our tragedies, as well. So thus the world goes: broken, lost, and hurting even in the best of circumstances. The Bible teaches us to control our thought life, to think on things that are good and lovely; not because we will necessarily manifest a better life that way, but because we will need this discipline to navigate life. (Read about this in Philippians 4:6-8) It is a bumpy road. Sometimes the plane leaves on time and we get upgraded to first class and life looks good; but other times we have to sleep in the airport, just to find out we are seated next to a fussy toddler (who is oftentimes our own!).

This post is not about how we miss one flight to make another, different but better excursion. Our lives are a lot of canceled trips, lost tickets, sick on Christmas Day, missed opportunities and so forth. And in many ways we just miss out. But we are mostly nearsighted. We look at the life unlived and we mourn, while God sees eternity, knowing the end from the beginning. He knows our hurts and our disappointments, He is farsighted! Where we see loss, hurts and failures; He sees the refining of our souls. He knows we are pilgrims, just passing through. As it turns out we didn’t miss the flight at all, we are still waiting to board. It’s a bit of a delay, so we set about doing things, having families, working that job, putting our hearts into a ministry . . . all while we wait to live our (yet) unlived life.

Do you find yourself longing for an unlived life this side of eternity?

Have you considered that even if you had that dream life it would still never be enough? Can you think of some examples of people who have it “all” and still struggle?

What can you do to keep your focus on the things that are “good and lovely"?

Drafts on Demitasse

I have yet to meet an espresso cup I don't love and don't even get me started on demitasse spoons. I love tiny treasures. My house is full of random pint-sized things. My windowsill is lined with espresso cups and if you happen to step on something sharp; well, if it’s not a Lego, it’s most likely a miniature chicken or perhaps an itty-bitty baby. My friend sent me a photo of a tiny cow she found in her jacket pocket the other day and I immediately shot back a text of the tiny farmer living in my coat pocket.

Part of the attraction of petite things is that they feel less committal, a mini cup of coffee, a small spoonful of tiramisu. If I drink and eat sample-sized amounts I can try more. Small plates are a revelation. I want a bite of everything - à la carte. So much of life is choosing one thing and sticking to it, that when it comes to food and writing and fashion, I want to sample a little of everything.

We choose a spouse, we become a parent, we pick a career path and the majority of our life is settled. This is what settling down looks like, you have made your big choices and now your everyday path is carved out. And while there is a peace in this, a belonging and a comfort, our minds do wonder at times. What if I had stayed with my music lessons or taken that job abroad? I find it safe to keep my mind close to home, to feel the path under my feet—its sturdiness, its native flowers and its predictable weather patterns. I mostly like my choices as in the bond of family, the pull of the lake and my voice in written words. There are things I would never change, they have grown right into me like tree roots, wrapping, winding and holding me together. Yet, the shifts in seasons, from winter's starkness to summer's bloom is all available whilst staying grounded. This is why I love so many different styles from the saturated colors of a Moroccan market to washed-out variations of white. Demitasse allows me an endless array of options without becoming too full.

With writing, I like to try my hand in all the genres. I have published short stories, poems, articles and radio dramas. I enjoy writing in little shots, different flavors, colors and styles.

Have you ever dreamed of seeing your words in print? Becoming a published author? Now maybe you just love to write for yourself and that is just great, but if a byline is on your wish list (or maybe just something you would like to secretly try for) this next section is for you. I’m going to start touching on basic publishing ideas. I have taught several writing classes on this topic and will start pouring it out in demitasse-sized cups.

Notes on Publishing

Friends are often asking me if I can talk to their sister or neighbor or friends (if they are super lucky this is the same person) about writing. Typically this person loves to write, perhaps took a creative writing class and would like to know how I went about getting published. I love having this conversation, especially if we are meeting over coffee. This next section is for sister/neighbor/friend who would like to take their love of writing to the next step.

Warning: I am about to ask a lot of questions

What you know, what you love and what you are good at are all great places to start when trying to get some publishing credits to your name. Jot down a list of things you are an “expert” in or at least know more than the average person. Do you work with kids? Are you good at finances? Perhaps you are a gifted organizer or know everything there is to know about essential oils. What are your hobbies? Do you knit or make your own skin care, have a knack for decorating? Unsure? What do family members call you about? That's usually a tip off. Do they call you for parenting advice or for natural remedies or maybe thay ask you to go shopping because you have a good eye for style? Do friends want you to look at their resume or their new business plan? Spend some time thinking about this and make a running list that you can go back to when you need an idea for submitting your work for publishing. I have had many pieces published in writing magazines, tea publications and faith-based periodicals, to name a few, all based on my upbringing, life experiences and what I know and love today. I, also, have penned several stories about farm life including some children’s fiction, based on my 4H years and life on a farm.

Life experience is a great place to mine for those pen to paper ideas. Write about what you have learned from surviving a hardship, for example, or how becoming a mother wasn’t quite what you expected. Maybe a rough patch in your marriage or a time you failed at something, but it lead you to some great insight. The first article I ever published was about a time when an intimidating stranger in a coffeeshop asked me about my faith; and I have since written many pieces on the topic of faith. And even though I’m no expert, I have published articles about parenting and marriage because these are areas I’m familiar with; I have gone through things that have taught me lessons I could share through my writing. Actually though, much of my body of work is for teen girls because, well, I was once a teenage girl and I believe I have some helpful advice to give younger women.

When dreams Come Down to Earth (its about to get earthy)

One of the Catch-22’s of publishing is that you usually have to be published to get published - so the best places to start are with free publications - those which are looking for content. If your initial goal is to make money, I suggest going to law school. I’m sure you will not be surprised to hear that working in the arts is not particularly lucrative; but, it is amazing to get a check in the mail for that first piece of paid writing. I made $250 for “Coffeehouse Witness,” which felt like a lot because at the time I would have done it for free—just so see my story in print.

Just get a few pieces published, so you can put that on your resume. I will talk about rejection in an upcoming post (it demands its own post!) but for now just figure that into the equation. You will be rejected; it’s just part of the game. Don’t let it pull you down, push back and send out more queries. Query: now there is a good publishing word. We will also talk about that later, just work on that list for now and start a piece with the thought of getting published.

If you are already publishing, try writing a piece in a new genre, perhaps a short story or a how-to-article. I just sent off a submission to a greeting card company.

Try sipping from a demitasse cup. Write little smatterings of life. Make lists. Put pen to paper.

Please share some of your ideas of where to draw writing inspirations in the comments below and post some of your drafts in TYPEset