It’s the Little Things

“It’s the little things in life.”

I love little things. Actual little things. I have written about this before, it was one of my first articles back when I was finding my way with this website. I have changed direction, quit, come back and (once again) asked the Lord what He wants me to do with my love of writing. I felt a pull to write more and with that comes a lot of challenges. I don’t love challenges. I want things to come naturally and work out and then I can say this is so obviously what I’m supposed to be doing because it comes so easy and has such success.

In short, I’m looking for the big things in life. Which is ironic considering my love of little things. I want big successes. Big rewards. Big recognitions. Don’t we all long for this? Look at how well my job is going, how great my kids are turning out, how deep my relationships are, how I’m acknowledged in all my circles, even in the world (perhaps?).

I have my writing awards framed, I want people to see them, to know my worth, my value as a writer.

What accolades do you have under glass or displayed on your fridge? That reward in your field? Or maybe your child’s impressive report card or sports recognition? Maybe you had your picture in the paper or even on the cover of a magazine?

Do we put our families on display? Our businesses? Our best artwork or crafts? Of course we are excited and want everyone to see how great it’s going. To share with the world or at least our “group” the good things happening in these areas.

And we need to celebrate these things! It’s important, it’s fun, it’s lovely to see the wedding pictures, the beautiful children in coordinating outfits (with no fighting) and the first day of the dream job. These are the snapshots of life we put on our desks at work, post on social media and hang in our hallways.

How wild would it be if you sat across from a desk only to spy a picture of the time your accountant fell off his bike instead of the time he won the race? Or what if you went to a playdate and the snapshots were of gum in the hair and tears at bedtime and the third night in a row your kids ate cereal for dinner? What if artists displayed only their first attempts at a forthcoming masterpiece? What if we showcased the review with “constructive” criticism? What if I published my first drafts?

Most people aren’t interested in putting the less than perfect images on display. I know I’m not. I like to put those first drafts in a drawer. I delete the unflattering pictures. I don’t want to talk about the failures, the time wasted, the wrong things said in a meeting or in a hard parenting moment.

Yet, these are the little things that build up to the bigger things.

How many mountaintop moments do we experience? In actuality, life is a lot of little things strung together, like pearls on a necklace. Alone they aren’t that impressive, but all together they can be layered around and around until they are weighty. A statement piece. Set against the background of an ordinary life, these small wins can add up.

What if the real gems are more about our character and our growth than about the actual achievements?

I tend to want worldly victories. I find myself chasing after what my culture says is important. Ironically, that is subject to time and place. These are fleeting, changing goals. Like trying to capture the wind vs building a house on a firm foundation. The older I get the more I want something solid, something unmovable on which to build my value and worth. When I was getting published regularly and winning awards, I felt great about my career as a writer. When I started working on this website, I struggled (and still do), because I no long receive the reward of a paycheck or media recognition. This website is a smaller thing.

What are things in your life that feel small?

Most people tell me their life doesn’t look the way they imagined when they were younger. We dream of the heights with no regard for the valleys between . . . and if you are anything like me, you are actually surprised by the low (difficult) times.

Yet, it is in these lowlands that the little things matter the most.

Steamy coffee sipped on a quiet morning. A summer evening dancing with fireflies. Words of encouragement from a friend. When your children make you laugh. Watching a rainstorm. Time to think. Rest.

These things keep us going. They add up to something bigger. To something better. A life that can find joy even on the darker days. Even when the laundry is piling up and tensions are high at work and your trip just got cancelled. Moments that make us smile or pause from our trials or even just the monotony of everyday life, are bright spots moving us forward (even if its just to the weekend).

More importantly, the same is true in our spiritual life. We have some big moments, like our salvation or our baptism, that are exciting and noteworthy days, but much of our faith is walking out our beliefs in the everyday moments. How do we behave when it gets hard or stressful or even boring? That’s when I find, that “the something solid, something unmovable on which to build my worth and value”, can only come from my life being hid in Christ, my Lord and Saviour. “Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Phil 1:6

The little things of our faith add up quickly: daily Bible study, praying (with thanksgiving), resting in the goodness of God, sharing our hope. These practices of our faith sustain us on the trail. We get thirsty and hungry and tired in this race called life. Sometimes there are really big hills that hit when we are the most tired or deep valleys that seem unbelievably lonely. But these not so little, little practices encourage our feet to keep moving.

A Bible verse that speaks right to our heart.

A time in prayer that calms our anxious souls.

Sweet words from a friend.

“Ointment and perfume rejoice the heart, so doth the sweetness of a man’s friend by hearty (heartfelt) counsel”. Pr 27:9kjv

Every hike starts with one step and then another and then another, all strung together. Small movements adding up to a journey. We wouldn’t leave for a trek without proper provisions. We need energy, hydration and protection from the elements. The Lord has provided all things for his children. We are nourished by his word, watered by prayers and protected in community. Don’t go it alone and don’t go empty-handed.

How many times have you left home and forgotten something? What would you go back for? Your lunch packed in a cooler, your water bottle, your phone? These are things we need and they are worth turning around for. Time spent growing our faith is also worth the sacrifice. Sometimes we need to turn our day around and gather our supplies; sit quietly with the Lord and be filled so we can deal with life, from the mundane to the unexpected.

Yesterday, I was so busy running from thing to thing that I forgot to pack any food. I was feeling over-caffeinated and a little woozy, I needed to eat, but didn’t have time to stop. Next on the list was picking up my son up from a friend and speeding off to camp. I asked his grandmother, if I could heat up my coffee (because more coffee . . .right?) and she offered me lunch! Sometime we just aren’t equipped for where the trail takes us. This is why the Bible says to be in fellowship with other believers. Sometimes we need lunch. She had extra food and I needed a sandwich (a small blessing) that really made a difference in my day.

At times we are dry and weary and need others to motivate us to keep on the journey. We give into the lies and the fears that can plague every Christian. So the Lord sends his saints to offer a weary traveler encouragement. He preserved his Word (the Bible), to teach us the armor of God (Eph 6), to show us the Hope set before us (Heb 6) and to “restoreth our souls” with the poetry of Psalms . His presence quiets us when we pour out our hearts.

I have been reading a book on Puritan prayers (I know, yawn) but they are anything but boring. These prayers are deep and profound, they are so beautifully penned and speak life into my soul when it is weary and tired. These prayers have reshaped the way I communicate with the Lord. A “little thing” that has had a profound impact on my spiritual life.

At every level of our development, the Lord can use us in small and big ways. Are we willing to start in the small things?

Will we commit to being in The Word daily?

Will we carve out time for prayer?

We will speak up when someone needs to hear the truth and encourgment the Bible offers?

Will we act unselfishly when our flesh tells us otherwise?

Small things sparkle in an ordinary life.

Showing God that we are willing to be used, willing to do the difficult things, willing to grow can seem like little things but are often actually the big things.

His master said to him, “Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.” Math 25:21 esv

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Drafts on The Unlived Life

Your flight has been canceled! How many times have we arrived to the terminal to be told those soul-crushing words. We had a plan. A ticket, even, as proof of the direction (literally) our life was headed. We had it all mapped out only to be told we would not be partaking in those particular plans. Has there ever been a more fitting metaphor for life? When we are young we make such grand plans. With nary a thought for cost, delays or an entire re-routing. We say such things as, “I shall never get married” or “I will have three kids, two boys and a girl,” with no concept of any interference. We boldly pronounce that we will leave town as soon as we can, securing a flat in a faraway country or a lavish ocean-front home. Dreams are free. Free of cost, free of reality. Free of the entanglements and strange twists of life. But all too often dreams get canceled.

We are just coming off the holidays and I always try to make a point of watching It’s a Wonderful Life. I have seen this movie more times than I can count; I even acted in the play in college. The older I get the more I realize just what George gave up. I’m sure you are familiar with the movie, but in a slight recap, George Bailey has big plans. He grows up dreaming of travel and excitement. In one scene he is purchasing a suitcase for his adventures. The first piece of luggage he is shown is met with a head shake, no that is not big enough! It will never hold the numerous stickers from all the countries he plans to visit. He has a life plan and it is getting out of his little town to see the world. Bag in hand he heads out to say goodbye to friends and family. But, alas, George never puts one sticker on that suitcase. It turns out he didn’t need the extra large one, or for that matter, any luggage at all. That life was canceled.

Do you have a suitcase in your closet for that life you never lived? Most of us do. Have you packed up a wedding dress that never walked down an aisle or put away baby clothes that were never used? Did you plan to finish college and got sidetracked by a baby? The move to Paris or Rome never materialized and you live in the same town where you grew up. The job pays the bills, but you had dreams of a career in fashion or owning your own restaurant. You thought you would go out to conquer the world, but instead you deal with chronic pain or depression and conquering the day is all you can manage. Or you were going to show your kids the world and everything you loved as a child, but they live in their own quiet world that you can’t quite reach.

Most of us are George Bailey with a life unlived. We did the right thing, we stepped up when a parent needed help, we held back when a child needed us. We pay the medical bills instead of booking that voyage. We take in a struggling friend or we do rounds of endless doctor appointments with our spouse. We put the suitcase in the closet and shut the door. Perhaps you made a series of wrong decisions. Invested in the wrong person, left when you should have stayed, stayed when you should have left. Either way you feel like George when it all starts to cave in around you. You look longingly at the empty suitcase and think if only . . .

We Make Resolutions (And Then Life Happens)

So here we sit in the foothills of the mountain that is this year; this decade even, and we are asked to make New Year’s resolutions. To write down what we hope to achieve these next 365 days. I can strive to write more, have less clutter in my house and find something to be thankful for each day. But the truth is I will forget about these small goals in a month’s time. We never talk about these aspirations in March or July. They are long forgotten because life happens. We move again, someone gets sick, someone gets born, we switch jobs, we age. There are triumphs of course. We meet the right person, we get a promotion, we start a business, we finish school. But the trouble with even achievements is that they fade. In It’s a Wonderful Life, George has wonderful things happen. He marries a lovely woman, has four children, helps countless friends, grows the business and supports his country during wartime. He is a beloved pillar of his community.

I do not for one minute think, if George had left town that day and taken his trip, we wouldn’t be having this same discussion—it would just be in reverse. He would have traveled, but never found, say, love or real meaning. He would see the world, but have no sense of home. We humans are genius at longing for what we do not have. If it wasn’t that thing, it would be another. I’m easily tricked into thinking, if I had what I wanted, than I wouldn’t want what I have now. That if I had gotten on that “flight,” I would be happier somehow. I would have a wonderful life. But it is a lie. If we travel, we long for home. If we are secure, we want adventure. If we have responsibilities, we want none and if we have none, we ache for them. We are funny, fickle creatures. Always chasing something. Always wanting more . . . or less.

We are always chasing something.

Always wanting more … or less

We all have suitcases in our closets

I can tell you my perfect life as I’m sure you can tell me yours. We are told the trick is balance. But we can’t, no matter how hard we try, stay in balance; we just hit it once and while, on the way to being out of balance. I’m all for being mindful and intentional. Make New Year’s goals; I did! But what the Bible says in Philippians 4: 11-13 is true; we must learn to be content in whatever state we find ourselves—in plenty and in need. I’m always in both these spots in various parts of my life. Flush with friendships, but struggling at work or dry spiritually but in good health. The life I wanted is not this. How could it be? I long for balance, for perfection and something is always out of sync.

If I could make it all work, I would not need a Savior. My goals are sweet, but small. They speak to the here and now which will never, ever be enough. I can have the best marriage, kids, job, vacations and it would not come close to being enough. One of the greatest blessings in my life are friends, as dear as sisters, and family I enjoy like friends, but it is only a taste of what I long for. Achieving dreams is amazing. I met a goal of getting over 100 pieces published and it was rather exciting and a feather in my cap; but it does not give my soul purpose, it is merely a feather, ornamental. I very much wanted our unique little house with the wall of windows and mid-century modern fixtures, but I have to be very careful not to complain about its lack of a second bathroom and doors that don’t close tight. Opening our own business was exciting, but at the end of the day, it’s a job, and a hard job at that. All the dreams that do come true are still not enough.

God knew it would never be enough. Our bodies were not designed to die, but to live. Our hearts were not created for envy and longing, but for a perfect, complete love. Our minds are meant for good, for edifying thoughts, not negative and evil imaginings. We use our liberty to create bad as well as good. We are victims of others’ free will and they are our tragedies, as well. So thus the world goes: broken, lost, and hurting even in the best of circumstances. The Bible teaches us to control our thought life, to think on things that are good and lovely; not because we will necessarily manifest a better life that way, but because we will need this discipline to navigate life. (Read about this in Philippians 4:6-8) It is a bumpy road. Sometimes the plane leaves on time and we get upgraded to first class and life looks good; but other times we have to sleep in the airport, just to find out we are seated next to a fussy toddler (who is oftentimes our own!).

This post is not about how we miss one flight to make another, different but better excursion. Our lives are a lot of canceled trips, lost tickets, sick on Christmas Day, missed opportunities and so forth. And in many ways we just miss out. But we are mostly nearsighted. We look at the life unlived and we mourn, while God sees eternity, knowing the end from the beginning. He knows our hurts and our disappointments, He is farsighted! Where we see loss, hurts and failures; He sees the refining of our souls. He knows we are pilgrims, just passing through. As it turns out we didn’t miss the flight at all, we are still waiting to board. It’s a bit of a delay, so we set about doing things, having families, working that job, putting our hearts into a ministry . . . all while we wait to live our (yet) unlived life.

Do you find yourself longing for an unlived life this side of eternity?

Have you considered that even if you had that dream life it would still never be enough? Can you think of some examples of people who have it “all” and still struggle?

What can you do to keep your focus on the things that are “good and lovely"?