It’s the Little Things

“It’s the little things in life.”

I love little things. Actual little things. I have written about this before, it was one of my first articles back when I was finding my way with this website. I have changed direction, quit, come back and (once again) asked the Lord what He wants me to do with my love of writing. I felt a pull to write more and with that comes a lot of challenges. I don’t love challenges. I want things to come naturally and work out and then I can say this is so obviously what I’m supposed to be doing because it comes so easy and has such success.

In short, I’m looking for the big things in life. Which is ironic considering my love of little things. I want big successes. Big rewards. Big recognitions. Don’t we all long for this? Look at how well my job is going, how great my kids are turning out, how deep my relationships are, how I’m acknowledged in all my circles, even in the world (perhaps?).

I have my writing awards framed, I want people to see them, to know my worth, my value as a writer.

What accolades do you have under glass or displayed on your fridge? That reward in your field? Or maybe your child’s impressive report card or sports recognition? Maybe you had your picture in the paper or even on the cover of a magazine?

Do we put our families on display? Our businesses? Our best artwork or crafts? Of course we are excited and want everyone to see how great it’s going. To share with the world or at least our “group” the good things happening in these areas.

And we need to celebrate these things! It’s important, it’s fun, it’s lovely to see the wedding pictures, the beautiful children in coordinating outfits (with no fighting) and the first day of the dream job. These are the snapshots of life we put on our desks at work, post on social media and hang in our hallways.

How wild would it be if you sat across from a desk only to spy a picture of the time your accountant fell off his bike instead of the time he won the race? Or what if you went to a playdate and the snapshots were of gum in the hair and tears at bedtime and the third night in a row your kids ate cereal for dinner? What if artists displayed only their first attempts at a forthcoming masterpiece? What if we showcased the review with “constructive” criticism? What if I published my first drafts?

Most people aren’t interested in putting the less than perfect images on display. I know I’m not. I like to put those first drafts in a drawer. I delete the unflattering pictures. I don’t want to talk about the failures, the time wasted, the wrong things said in a meeting or in a hard parenting moment.

Yet, these are the little things that build up to the bigger things.

How many mountaintop moments do we experience? In actuality, life is a lot of little things strung together, like pearls on a necklace. Alone they aren’t that impressive, but all together they can be layered around and around until they are weighty. A statement piece. Set against the background of an ordinary life, these small wins can add up.

What if the real gems are more about our character and our growth than about the actual achievements?

I tend to want worldly victories. I find myself chasing after what my culture says is important. Ironically, that is subject to time and place. These are fleeting, changing goals. Like trying to capture the wind vs building a house on a firm foundation. The older I get the more I want something solid, something unmovable on which to build my value and worth. When I was getting published regularly and winning awards, I felt great about my career as a writer. When I started working on this website, I struggled (and still do), because I no long receive the reward of a paycheck or media recognition. This website is a smaller thing.

What are things in your life that feel small?

Most people tell me their life doesn’t look the way they imagined when they were younger. We dream of the heights with no regard for the valleys between . . . and if you are anything like me, you are actually surprised by the low (difficult) times.

Yet, it is in these lowlands that the little things matter the most.

Steamy coffee sipped on a quiet morning. A summer evening dancing with fireflies. Words of encouragement from a friend. When your children make you laugh. Watching a rainstorm. Time to think. Rest.

These things keep us going. They add up to something bigger. To something better. A life that can find joy even on the darker days. Even when the laundry is piling up and tensions are high at work and your trip just got cancelled. Moments that make us smile or pause from our trials or even just the monotony of everyday life, are bright spots moving us forward (even if its just to the weekend).

More importantly, the same is true in our spiritual life. We have some big moments, like our salvation or our baptism, that are exciting and noteworthy days, but much of our faith is walking out our beliefs in the everyday moments. How do we behave when it gets hard or stressful or even boring? That’s when I find, that “the something solid, something unmovable on which to build my worth and value”, can only come from my life being hid in Christ, my Lord and Saviour. “Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Phil 1:6

The little things of our faith add up quickly: daily Bible study, praying (with thanksgiving), resting in the goodness of God, sharing our hope. These practices of our faith sustain us on the trail. We get thirsty and hungry and tired in this race called life. Sometimes there are really big hills that hit when we are the most tired or deep valleys that seem unbelievably lonely. But these not so little, little practices encourage our feet to keep moving.

A Bible verse that speaks right to our heart.

A time in prayer that calms our anxious souls.

Sweet words from a friend.

“Ointment and perfume rejoice the heart, so doth the sweetness of a man’s friend by hearty (heartfelt) counsel”. Pr 27:9kjv

Every hike starts with one step and then another and then another, all strung together. Small movements adding up to a journey. We wouldn’t leave for a trek without proper provisions. We need energy, hydration and protection from the elements. The Lord has provided all things for his children. We are nourished by his word, watered by prayers and protected in community. Don’t go it alone and don’t go empty-handed.

How many times have you left home and forgotten something? What would you go back for? Your lunch packed in a cooler, your water bottle, your phone? These are things we need and they are worth turning around for. Time spent growing our faith is also worth the sacrifice. Sometimes we need to turn our day around and gather our supplies; sit quietly with the Lord and be filled so we can deal with life, from the mundane to the unexpected.

Yesterday, I was so busy running from thing to thing that I forgot to pack any food. I was feeling over-caffeinated and a little woozy, I needed to eat, but didn’t have time to stop. Next on the list was picking up my son up from a friend and speeding off to camp. I asked his grandmother, if I could heat up my coffee (because more coffee . . .right?) and she offered me lunch! Sometime we just aren’t equipped for where the trail takes us. This is why the Bible says to be in fellowship with other believers. Sometimes we need lunch. She had extra food and I needed a sandwich (a small blessing) that really made a difference in my day.

At times we are dry and weary and need others to motivate us to keep on the journey. We give into the lies and the fears that can plague every Christian. So the Lord sends his saints to offer a weary traveler encouragement. He preserved his Word (the Bible), to teach us the armor of God (Eph 6), to show us the Hope set before us (Heb 6) and to “restoreth our souls” with the poetry of Psalms . His presence quiets us when we pour out our hearts.

I have been reading a book on Puritan prayers (I know, yawn) but they are anything but boring. These prayers are deep and profound, they are so beautifully penned and speak life into my soul when it is weary and tired. These prayers have reshaped the way I communicate with the Lord. A “little thing” that has had a profound impact on my spiritual life.

At every level of our development, the Lord can use us in small and big ways. Are we willing to start in the small things?

Will we commit to being in The Word daily?

Will we carve out time for prayer?

We will speak up when someone needs to hear the truth and encourgment the Bible offers?

Will we act unselfishly when our flesh tells us otherwise?

Small things sparkle in an ordinary life.

Showing God that we are willing to be used, willing to do the difficult things, willing to grow can seem like little things but are often actually the big things.

His master said to him, “Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.” Math 25:21 esv

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Running From Thunder

My dog, Scout, is terrified of thunder. Anytime there is a rumble in the sky he runs for cover. The problem, as you can imagine, is that you can’t actually hide from thunder. This, however, does not stop him from trying! He crawls behind a half open door, he goes into the bathroom and wedges himself between the toilet and tub, but alas, the thunder can still find him. He runs around, his little nails clicking annoyingly on the floor, looking for safety.

We always try to soothe our nervous little dog. We tell him it’s alright; we pet him and whisper that he is a “good boy” (my other posts on Scout will show this is not actually true). But it matters not, because none of this helps. He is frantic. His beady eyes are even more crazed than normal. He will not be calmed, he must run around looking for shelter from the noise that is attacking our home. Perhaps it is better outside, he scratches at the door. Despite my best efforts to tell him it’s actually worse out there, he must see for himself. Sure enough he is instantly jumping at the door with muddy paws to get back inside.

Do you have invisible fears? Is there something that has you franticly running round? Do you look for safety, not behind a bedroom door, but in a bank account or job security. While you would never wedge yourself behind the toilet (I hope!), do you make sure you have enough money, supplies, friends or connections to keep you “safe”?

We want freedom from our entanglements or we long for more security. Inside or outside, we still have the same fears, the same longings, the same insecurities.

I have written several articles on my dog, Scout. He has much to teach us on doing it wrong. The truth is I often see myself in his mishaps. He pushes his doggie nose against the window longing for what’s outside and then once he has broke free of the constraints of the home he wants back in. Isn’t this us? Give me freedom, no wait; I want security! We long for what we don’t have and then pine for what we’ve left behind. Scout is very good at pining. He will lay for hours at any closed door only to immediately want out of said room once he achieves entrance.

We shake our heads at his antics, but really, how often do we act like a crazy dog running from thunder? I want to tell Scout, you can’t hide from a loud noise, but he will not be convinced.

What do we run from? What are the loud noises that have you running for cover?

For me it’s a lot of the what ifs. What if this person is just using me, what if I get lost, what if I get sick, what if I don’t have enough of . . .

I spend a significant amount of energy imagining hypothetical situations. Imagining the worst. Getting worked up and fretting over what could happen, what might happen, what I fear the most. The thunder of my fears shakes the frame of my house and I can’t find a safe place to land.

Maybe like me, you have had the worst happen so it doesn’t necessarily feel like fiction, but just being practical. Being prepared because sometimes the worst does happen. That loud cracking storm isn’t just a bunch of noise, but produces lightning and it actually strikes the ground setting your whole life aflame. Storms can do real damage, uprooting our lives and blowing them all over the place. We are left cleaning up the mess for day, weeks and even a lifetime.

As a side note, since I started this article (some weeks ago) there have been many real disasters in the lives of our close family and friends. I even thought about abandoning this piece; maybe Scout is right after all? More than ever lately, I’ve wanted to run and hide from the thunder, as life has proven that it is sometimes followed by a very real storm. So I proceed hesitantly on this topic, as the Holy Spirit keeps nudging me through Bible study and prayer, that we cannot live our lives like a scared Jack-Rat Terrier mix (I’m convinced this particular breed was never meant to exist). I blame the Fall. So, if we are subject to the evils of this world what are we to do? Hide? Shake in fear? Refuse to be comforted?

The Bible does not teach me to do any of the above, so I have to ask myself should I carry on with this article by faith and not by sight?

How about you? Are you walking by sight? (It can look pretty bad) Or by faith?

Most storms are just seasonal with some rain and thunder, maybe some sideway fireworks, but not a tempest to blow through our lives. How do we quell our fears and what ifs? How do we lay down in the storm and sleep at night, instead of pacing the house with our tongues hanging out (or is that just Scout)?

The ways I don’t want to be like Scout are many! I don’t want to let every loud boom shake my faith and steal my peace. I don’t want to run around when I can lay down in green pastures (Ps 23).

So what still rings true—even after a storm has struck or is threatening us in the distance? Well, the promises of the Bible echo down through the ages.

We are not, however, promised happiness and easy times. I checked; it’s not there. But we are promised peace in the storm.

Wait! What? This isn’t exactly what I’m looking for.

Jesus tells us in the Gospel of John that while we will face hard times, we can face them with peace because He is in control. I assume He tells us this because it won’t feel this way. We will be tempted to think the train has fallen off the rails and nobody is in charge. Yet, He knew we would need this reassurance. Like a terrified dog we tend to seek shelter in all the wrong places. Hiding behind a door, say, to save us from thunder. But because the Bible tells us that God knows the end from the beginning, we can actually sleep at night. “Declaring the end from the beginning, and from ancient times the things that are not yet done, saying, My counsel shall stand, and I will do all my pleasure.” (Is 46:10) “And the LORD, he it is that doth go before thee; he will be with thee, he will not fail thee, neither forsake thee; fear not, neither be dismayed . . .” (Deut 31:8)

And here is one of my favorite verses; one I memorized as a teenager, wrote on a card and hung over my bed. It’s probably the verse I can most readily bring to mind—it’s truly hidden in my heart.

“These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.”

John 16:33

Now, what I wish it said, is something like, “Dear Christian, it’s only smooth sailing from here. You will only be happy all the time and get everything your heart desires.” But, alas the promise is different and if we really examine what Jesus is saying we can see that it’s actually a far deeper promise; it cuts through the noise and distractions of life to the heart of the matter, which is eternal peace and security. Fair weather comes and goes, as do storms, but if we can claim His promise of peace, our boat won’t be rocked quite so hard because our eyes will be fixed on the firm rock of Christ and not the choppy waters of this life.

The promise of peace is ours for the taking, but how do we get to it when we are cowering in fear? The disciples ran to Jesus. In Matthew 8, we learn about a time when they were crossing the sea and a storm arose and the wind and waves began to beat on the ship. Jesus was sleeping in the back of the boat and they woke Him, crying, “Master, carest thou not that we perish?” How often do we run to the Lord saying, “God don’t you see what’s happening in my life?” Don’t you care?” Jesus arose and rebuked the wind and told the sea to be at peace and suddenly there was a great calm. Then he says to his close companions and disciples, “Why are you so fearful? How is it that you have no faith?”

Right.

Why am I so fearful?

I do have faith, but it is often so weak. “Lord, I believe but, help my unbelief,” was the cry of the father in Mark 9:24. How often is this the sorrow of our hearts? Help us Lord to believe the promises you have given us, even when we can’t see them. We can run to the Lord, appeal to Him as our father. He will answer; sometimes in our spirits (our hearts), sometimes through His Word or a teaching, or perhaps a friend to remind and comfort us in the hope that is ours already.

“And now, Lord, what wait I for? my hope is in thee.” (Ps 39:7)

We can seek Him out in the Bible where we are reminded of these promises of peace and even joy in the storms. We are beckoned to pour out our hearts in prayer, knowing He listens and cares. The true blessing is not, after all, in the ease of life or the way things work out, but in the relationship itself: we are safely tucked away inside the arms of our Saviour. Our spirit can rest and even sleep during a storm, because unlike Scout, we know that God is in control.

Further Reading:

Fuzzy Hope

Why Struggles are Important

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Drafts On Soul Wounds

We all have vulnerable spots. I’m sensitive to bright lights, as everyone in my life will attest. I have never met a dimmer switch I didn’t love. We have two light switches in my bathroom. One goes to a lovely muted luminary that bathes the room in soft warm colors. The other activates three fluorescent lights that are equivalent to the white hot glow of an operating room. I never ever use that light. It feels like a direct switch to a headache. I don’t care if I have something in my eye or need to remove a sliver out of a child’s foot, it will be done in that low lighting. While the rest of my family uses this other light switch without a thought; they even seem to enjoy all the extra eye-popping brightness.

In the same way my eyes are sensitive to bight lights, my emotions also have weak spots. Things that have happened to me in the past have caused wounds. Like when people talk about sisters, it sometimes feels like a prick. I have to quietly deal with a wound that no one can see. I lost a sister. So, when someone starts causally talking about plans they have with their sister or how they talk everyday or even how annoying they might be, I can’t help but feel that loss. Time has healed much of that wound, but it’s still there. Nobody means to hurt me, of course. Some days it doesn’t even phase me, but other days it cuts; but I just keep smiling and nodding. I don’t want my friends to not mention their sisters.

Perhaps all your friends are getting married and you just experienced a terrible breakup. How do you get through those wedding showers and sit at a table with your parents pretending to be happy when inside you are hurting? You can’t ask people to not get married, you can’t not be happy for them. But there is a wound there that nobody can see. We have all had losses. A friend mentions how her dad fixed her car and you never even met your dad. A wound is touched. Your co-worker is buying a house when you are thinking you might have to move back home to save money. You started a ministry that can’t seem to get any funding while others seem to flourish. We try to hide our invisible hurts, so no one sees us flinch when when they talk about their spouse, their baby, their job . . .

The Enemy Hits Us Where it Hurts the Most

The places we feel like we aren’t enough are the places the enemy hits hardest, because it does the most damage—the quickest. If you were in a fight with a guy who had a broken arm, where are you going to punch him? In the place that will bring him to his knees. We are in a spiritual battle and our adversary does not play fair! You have a difficult child who is hard to parent, where will you get attacked? There! Someone will point out what you are doing wrong (when they don’t know anything about it). And bam! The enemy has you reeling. Your marriage is struggling and someone will go on about how great their marriage is and how it just gets better every year while yours seems to get harder. A hit in just the right spot. You feel stuck in your office job and are wondering about purpose when your roommate from college calls to announce they are opening their own business. You are glad this conversation is over the phone so they can’t see your face while you take the hit.

We do not feel the punches in our strong areas. If you rock at your job or have an easy marriage or are about to get a book published, comments can be made and they just roll off because you know they aren’t true. We are attacked in the vulnerable places. In the spots we worry about or the areas we carry a hurt or that secret fear. How do you recover when you are punched in a broken spot? Those comments can take your breath away, make you lose your footing. You want to just lay on the ground. It’s easy to be mad at that person or the situation, but we need to remember that it’s often the enemy at work and this is what he does. If you are in a knife fight, you can’t be surprised when you get cut. Yet, I find myself surprised. Like . . . “hey, that hurt!”

Don’t be Mistaken: We Are in A Battle

This life is a battle; it isn’t practice, it’s the real thing. We are in active combat. This is why the Bible instructs us to pray on the amour of God each day (Ephesians 6). Not because we are going to spar with a friend, but because we are in battle everyday—if we like it or not (1 Peter 4:12). So, when the enemy (through that guy at work or even your sweet grandma) says just the right thing, that speaks to your biggest hurts and fears you can know immediately you are in a fight for your emotions and your heart. The point is to take you down. To make you doubt God’s love (If God loved me, would I have lost my sister?). To make you doubt your calling (I’m not good at talking about my faith, maybe I should just be quiet). To make you doubt the hard things (someone else would be a better parent to this child). To make you doubt your purpose (Shouldn’t I find happiness in my family/job/ministry—maybe there is something more?).

As if the hard things shouldn’t be hard.

As if the struggles can and should be avoided.

As if the lies are true.

We must be ready for battle. We must suit up and pray up and read up. The Bible will instruct you; the prayers will empower you; the Holy Spirit will lead you. You have everything you need to fight the good fight. But you will get hurt. Nobody goes into war thinking they will emerge the same. They will be shot at, wounded and hardened by the blows of the enemy. From each battle we emerge with more experience (2 Tim 2:4). I know if I don’t start my day in prayer, I’m already set up for some blows. It’s not that prayer stops the blows; actually, I think it often “ups” them, but I’m ready to handle them.

If we are wounded, it is much harder to keep fighting. We often need others to drag us to safety. We need to go to the medic. Who is our Great Physician? Who is the Healer of our souls? The very One who created us, will also heal us. When we bring our soul wounds to Him, our Lord and Savior will do a great work in us. Sometimes it is major surgery (which could be preformed under the lights in my bathroom!). When we come to Christ, our loving Father lays us out and removes our hearts of stone and give us new hearts.

Ezekiel 36:26-27

“And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes and be careful to obey my rules.”

He will give you a new heart

Nobody questions the major undertaking of a heart transplant. Getting a new spiritual heart is pretty major, also. It changes our life in dramatic ways. Things that used to bring us pleasure become dull, as we shift from a selfish worldly view to an eternal spiritual view. There are aspects of this change that happen suddenly. I once sat with a friend in my home and could see the heaviness of her past etched in her face; yet, a few moments later when she came to the Lord, it was instantly lifted. One of the first things she said after we prayed was, “The heaviness is gone!” She didn’t need to tell me. I could see it in her face. She met her Saviour and he removed her heavy heart and put in a living/beating heart that pushed blood through her soul into places that were formally crippled.

Other changes come on slowly, over years as our new hearts pump the oxygenated blood of new life to parts of our souls we thought were dead. Healing soul wounds that were caused by sin done to us, sin we fell into, perhaps, because of a family cycle of hurt or a temptation that we thought would soothe our wounds. But, in fact, it deepened the damage. I have been walking with the Lord several decades and just in the last few years, I have come to realize some of the places I carry wounds. Instead of letting air and light get to them where they can heal, I instinctively hide them, keeping them in the dark where they fester and spread into other aspects of my life.

Let the Healing Begin

I asked the Holy Spirit to expose them, so I could pray for the healing I didn’t even understand I needed. The wounds I had wrapped up in the loss of my sister were many and painful. There are ways I unknowingly respond to life—reacting in hurt or depression, never connecting it back to that vulnerable spot. God has removed much of that weight, just by exposing it. When something pricks me, I can say I know why this hurts. I don’t want to react in a way that brings me low. I can feel sad. I can feel the loss. But, I don’t want my reactions to be something that causes me to sin or causes me to pull back when I should be pushing in.

What soul wounds do you have in your life?

Can you connect some of your seemingly odd or extreme reactions to that hurt?

What if you asked the Lord to start healing those spots?

The Lord keeps showing me that He is enough. His grace is sufficient. The things I think I need to be okay are the very places He will fill. The hurts are a reminder that this world is not home. I have a promise that I will see my sister again (along with others gone ahead). Meanwhile, He has brought women into my life that I call sister . . .and my heart fills. I stand up in their weddings and the program says—sister to the bride. And that wound closes a little. I have a group of women in my life that are as dear to me as sisters. We have a depth in our relationships that I imagine is as deep as a blood sister (and perhaps deeper in some cases). That spot is very tender, but not as gut-wrenching as it was at one time. The term “soul sister” means more to me than most.

Ask the Lord to reveal your wounds so you can ask for healing in those areas

Have you already experienced some healing? Was it instant or slowly over time?

If you feel led to support my ministry in anyway, I would love to hear from you.

Take heart: Why Our Struggles Are Important

I never want anyone to struggle. I don’t want to walk through hard things. I don’t want you to either. I want our lives to look like a beautiful Instagram feed; where all the tones match, the background is well-balanced with books and succulents and everyone is bright and happy in their organic cotton clothes. Not only that, but full of interesting, if not witty, things to say about life, love and rescue dogs.

My life does not look like this. And that is important, because I’m going to need your help. If my life was problem-free, I would not need your prayers, time and support and we would both miss out on how God uses you and me to move in the lives of people.

As a writer, I have always been told I need a brand, a voice, a genre that people will expect. When you are starting a blog or website it is best to have a look or brand (you will notice mine is mostly typewriters and coffee) in muted tones no less. My life, unlike my website, does not have a theme like “dark and moody”; that is just me every morning before coffee. Or you might find me “bright and colorful,” which is how I feel when someone brings me a cookie (or preferably a baker’s dozen). I’m all over the place.

Life Isn’t A Staged Instagram Post (We Don’t Get 20 Takes)

My real life photo album would look more like this:

First photo: my rescue dog puking on the carpet (not the wood floor, nope the carpet, the one we are going to change out as soon as the dog stops eating uneatable things outside).

Next pic: a demitasse cup of coffee (note the theme) on my coffee table; no, wait . . . you can’t actually see my coffee table because it looks like a LEGO hospital with legs and heads everywhere!

Photo number three: me ruining a perfectly good photo with my friends by being the only one who blinks (always). Actually now that I read this all back it is a recognizable theme: Struggle. Is that a genre? Dickens seemed to think so.

Again, I don’t want to struggle, I want it all to work out. I want all the ends to meet. I don’t want to run out of thread or have the wrong color or just have lost the spool all together. Sometime my struggles are the result of my own sin or bad choices. Like staying up too late to read and then being tired and grumpy the next day and trying to withdraw money from the bank, getting denied, freaking out(!) and then realizing that you are at the wrong bank. Sometimes the struggles are a result of other peoples’ bad choices like when someone steals your identity and empties your bank account buying men’s outdoor gear a week before Christmas. And sometimes struggles just happen, like your kid getting sick on the day you have a big presentation at work, or it downpours on an outdoor party that you’ve spent weeks planning.

Struggles Bring Us Into God’s Work

If it all worked out we wouldn’t really need each other. I wouldn’t need you to listen to me over coffee when I’m worried and upset. You wouldn’t need me to puzzle through relationship problems for hours in a parked car in your driveway. I wouldn’t need that meal during a busy and stressful time. You wouldn’t need me to pray about your job. We wouldn’t need each other’s parenting advice or someone to let our dog out or pick up our kid. We would have it all together and be self-sufficient, untouchable and confident. Yet, in Galatians we are taught to—Bear one another burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ.

Instead we struggle and it creates cracks in the image we want to send the world. That we know how to parent that child and how to communicate in our marriages. That we can handle everything that is coming our way with a smile. I often find myself stressing over the wrong things, focusing on how things look instead of how things are. I want all the homework turned in on time, the lunch box to be a balanced meal instead of an array of snacks (because that’s all he will eat at school and I can’t throw away another sandwich). I want my words to my family to be uplifting and not just an outpouring of my own frustrations. Like an Instagram feed, I want it to look staged and perfect. I want to have 20 takes and pick the best one. Let me try this conversation about not forgetting your homework folder a few times and pick the one that is best, not my knee-jerk, freak-out one—definitely not the one to go with.

But instead of having time to fix my lipstick and smoothing down my flyaways, life just keeps snapping the pictures and they are not all flattering. My instinct is to hide these pictures, not share them with my friends and family. Not tell people my fears and my failures. I want to be a woman that trusts God, that boldly just says, God is working this out. I do believe I can have faith and trust in Him. I believe His Word. I pray because I know it matters and I know He hears me. Yet, doubts creep in, fears dance around in the shadows taunting me; they know me, they know just how to get my attention. These are moments I want to hide, I want to tell you over text that I’m just busy. I want to make excuses to stay home because these pictures are not pretty. They are blurry and the lighting is real bad.

Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.

Philippians 2:4

Ironically, oh so ironically, I dislike this in other people. I don’t want you to hide your hurt, I never want you to pretend things are okay when you can’t sleep because of worry or you are mad at your spouse. I want to walk through that with you. Your struggles are good for my walk because they make me re-examine what I believe about the Lord. Your struggles make me look at God’s Word for answers. They make me pray boldly for you while you cry on my couch (surrounded by all the LEGO pieces). I need to see your trials to see that it’s not just me that feels overwhelmed, tired and out of my depth. And you need the same from me.

Sometimes other people’s issues put our own in perspective; sometimes they make us feel less alone, but they can always give us an opportunity to do the Lord’s work. I can speak truth against a lie you are believing. You can lay hands and pray over my headache. The Lord can use my words to give you insight into a hard relationship and he can use you to meet a practical need, like letting my dog out when I have a day of solid meetings. Sometimes it’s big warfare work, coming against a stronghold in someone’s life and other times it’s something more simple like your husband dropping off a Mexican hot chocolate at work when you’re having a hard day. But I feel God’s hand in the big and little ways others help me in my struggles.

Life was feeling pretty hard while I worked on this piece. But God showed up in big and small ways. He used His people to bless me physically, providing for my needs in practical ways. Even sweet notes full of encouraging words with coffee cards inside (my love language). Someone told me she was having a wretched day when she wrote me a note of encouragement (which I found especially touching). When we can bless people out of our hardships, it’s all the more meaningful. Even in the midst of our own struggles we can do God’s work. I know there was much prayer which lead to the way God used this time to open me up to hear His truth. The Holy Spirit lead me to some teaching that I needed to hear about God’s provision, about His love and His character. I found myself broken and trying to heal. Learning a lesson I could only learn when I felt scattered in pieces. We all need to struggle to grow.

Take heart: I need your struggles and you need mine.

Do you try to hide your struggles? Do you delete the bad photos and only show the world the staged pictures?

How has another person’s struggle helped you to go deeper in your faith so you could encourage them?

Have you seen God’s hand in your life through the acts and words of other believers?

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