Drafts on The Other Side of the Door

Almost every time I walk into the kitchen, I find my dog, Scout, sitting with his nose pressed to the door waiting, hoping somebody will let him outside. We open the door and he skitters his paws like he is on ice, and nearly throws his back out to slide through that door. Once outside he does a quick loop of the yard. If the neighbor dog isn’t out to bark at (they have a fervent contest to be crowned the loudest dog in the neighborhood) or a dastardly squirrel isn’t on the fence who needs to be put in his place, he circles back around to sit with his nose pressed up to the door waiting, hoping somebody will let him back inside. Once inside he does a loop of the kitchen to see if anyone dropped a stray crumb or preferably a whole sandwich. Then, you guessed it, back to the door.

Scout hates a shut door! He wants, nay, he needs to know what is on the other side. If you dare to shut him out of the bathroom, he will press his little spotted nose to the crack in the door and wait in quiet desperation for someone to have mercy on him and open the door with their magical door-opening-hands. But, if you take him into the bathroom with you, he will do the same thing on the reverse side of the door, boring holes with his eyes into the oh, so very opaque wood, longing to know what is happening on the other side of that door. If Scout could have a super power it would be x-ray vision. He needs with all his doggy soul to know WHAT IS HAPPENNING ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THAT DOOR?!

I see much of myself in Scout, not only the fierce love (that reads as desperation) of food, the excitement over friends that can seem aggressive but, also, the ability to do nothing all day and still be exhausted. When I watch him, nose pressed against that door, believing with all his heart that there is something better on the other side, I see a flaw in myself. One that has me wasting time wanting something different that will not make me anymore satisfied than what I have on this side of the door.

Why is it that we long for something more and what we have is rarely enough? We want our houses bigger, our thighs smaller, our electronics faster and our lives slower. If we can just take a vacation or get that job or find a best friend or the perfect hair color we would feel happier. We try to claw our way through one door just to turn around and want back inside, because maybe that was better after all. I’m learning to look away from the “closed” door, find what I need on this side. Maybe someone did drop a whole sandwich in here and I missed it because I was too busy staring at the door leading outside.

There is actually a very small window that works for me of not being too busy, but having purpose; of not feeling uncomfortably stuffed, but having enough to eat. Do I really want more house to clean or too much time to sit on the beach alone? In reality no, I want a balance of these things. In the Bible, Philippians 4:12 says something like, learn to be content when you have too little or when you have too much. There always seem to be spiritual issues when we go through struggles, but surprisingly, at least for me, there are just as many issues when we have everything we (think) we want. Whatever side of the door you find yourself on you will have a constant when you look outside of your physical surroundings for contentment and peace.

When I’m struggling through a valley, I just want out of the valley. I want the pain to stop, I want to feel the sun, but I’m usually in deep prayer during these times, depending on God in a desperate way that makes me not totally fall on my temporal helps like family, friends, money, doctors and my comforts. I look to the Lord and build my spiritual stamina like no other time. On the other side of that door, the one full of comfort, peace and light, in my case - coffee, scones, laughter with friends and days at the beach - when all is well; that’s when I can forget that I need a Savior. I can drift from the reality that it’s not about making myself comfortable or happy and this is a dangerous place to linger too long.

There is this really interesting proverb in the Bible where the author asks some things of the Lord. He says don’t make me either rich or poor, but give me just enough for each day. This gives me pause. Apparently, there must be a sweet spot spiritually where we want to live, enough but not too much. Of course this isn’t just with finances and provisions, but with busyness and relationships and work. We seem to be thrown off balance when we have affluence and when we have need. What this prayer in Proverbs 30:7-9 is asking of the Lord is something in the middle, an ease or peace which flows into thankfulness. I’m trying to be at ease in the room I’m in and not standing with my nose pressed to the door wanting something more or different. What this looks like for me is saying this is enough right now in my season of life. Not comparing myself or striving to have everything or be everything. Not saying yes to all opportunities that cross my path. Deciding what is important to me: time spent in devotion, time with family and friends, work I love (like writing this blog) which means not making as much money or getting as many publishing credits, not being part of things that sound really cool, but would spread me too thin. Stepping away from the door!

Write about ways you feel as if you have your nose pressed to the door, wanting something different instead of focusing on where you are.

Journal about what not having too much or too little looks like in your life. Are you too busy? Are you lacking in relationships?

Sharing is good for the soul. Send me your writing, I would love to post it in Typeset

Drafts on Perspective : A Call From Bob

I work very hard to not take my life for granted. The times I have to work the hardest are when I hear about how exciting other peoples lives are in comparison to mine. I have shared that we are entrepreneurs and while that, in and of itself, is not exactly playing it safe, owning businesses and contracting does keep one rather tethered down, at least physically. When I look at Instagram pictures of friends lying on beaches or hiking jungle trails or sipping a café au lait in distant countries, I get a longing in my heart. I try to satisfy it with taking a new route to the coffee shop, but it’s just not the same.

Friends that are crushing it at work, getting promotions, books deals and awards trigger me to look around and think . . . what have I done lately? My awards are getting dusty. My work is quiet and mostly unnoticed, unless you count picking up dye-free laundry soap a win, because I pulled the trigger on that one. Why is it our lives so often feel like an old sweater we have had forever; it’s comfortable and does the job of keeping us warm, but putting it on is not something we are going to post about. Who would appreciate that old pullover with the coffee-stained sleeve and frayed hem?

I was at the “office” — my local coffeehouse and I ran into a co-worker (another person who uses said coffee shop as an office). We are both sorely lacking in the work environment area so have decided to be cohorts and pretend we have important meetings, which is mostly him buying me coffee and cookies while we discuss life. Just like in a real office, right? One day, at a very important meeting (someone has to eat those cookies) he told me about a call he received from his friend Bob. This call from Bob has proven to be a much needed source of perspective for both of us.

My co-worker hadn’t heard from Bob in some years so the phone call was basically a catching up on life. My cookie supplier (his favorite title) has had an interesting life (insert challenging for interesting and then insert crazy for challenging); let’s just say he has made some bad choices and his life has reflected those choices. So his life looked “interesting.” He has since made good choices and now his world reflects those good choices. So he preceded to tell Bob about his life; he described living in a great little beach town that looks like a postcard, how he bikes to a coffee shop and is greeted by name, and can name good friends that genuinely care about him . The more he describes his life to Bob, the more Bob gets excited on the other end of the phone call.

“Wow! Your life sounds just wonderful.” Bob exclaims.

It made my friend put down his cup of coffee and get a little misty-eyed while thinking about what his life looked like through Bob’s eyes.

My life, as well, could have taken so many different turns. I made a lot of bad choices myself. And in all fairness, my life could look pretty bleak, but instead I have been on the receiving end of grace. Spiritually, I could be living in a dry and desolate land. While I love the beauty of a desert and the thorny cacti, it is something to be admired from afar, but nobody wants to live there. It is too hot and too thirsty. I want to live spiritually near a water source where I can cool off from the heat of life and get a drink anytime I want. Adventure has its gleam (and its time) but when you have a family and jobs, it tends to take a backseat.

We so often long for the things we don’t have; I know I do. I have friends that long to be married with small children and I have friends with scores of small children who long to do anything and everything one cannot do with small children. We say it’s just human nature. And perhaps it is, or perhaps it’s something deeper. It’s a longing that will never be satisfied, but we think it will if we can just take that trip to Europe or get a part time job away from our families or meet the right person. If we looked like her or had his brains or had what they have or . . . and the list goes on.

It’s a lie of the desert, the pretty flowers hiding the sharp needles of the succulents. They poke our hearts and say we aren't enough, we aren’t pretty enough or smart enough or clever enough. They say our lives aren’t enough. And we look around, wanting more, thinking it will satisfy us and it never will. We all sometimes need a call from Bob, someone to point out the sweet spots in our life. How far we have come when it could have turned out so different—but for the grace of God.

My friend Tracy and I are often “a call from Bob,” but we take it to an extreme (this is who we are). Tracy called me because they had an undetected leak in their roof and part of their bedroom wall was rotting! She was pretty upset because it would be a major fix. But luckily for her, I just watched a documentary on the Irish Potato Famine and I had more perspective than I knew what to do with. So, she got to have a big ole’ dose of what a little problem this actually was when she could be starving and living in a dank little hovel. Now granted this is not what she was looking for when she called me, but she did laugh and say, “well, when you put it that way.” We often refer to the “potato famine” when consoling each other. We still have problems but when we hold them next to events like World War II or famines or even what life would look like without indoor pluming, our perspective gets a kick in the teeth.

Sometimes the Lord uses “a call from Bob” to remind us of the beauty and blessings in our lives and that thing we think we need to have to be content . . . is just a door to the next thing we think we will need.

Write about your own personal “call from Bob.”

Journal about how perspective has changed you when your circumstances didn’t change.

Notes on Publishing

For those of you looking to dive into the world of publishing, I suggested in a previous post that you start with a list of writing topics. Review post here in the Notes on publishing section.

Now it’s time to look for a place you could send your work. Don’t let compensation play a role at this point. Write for free or very little; you just want to get a credit to your name. Check out local papers, magazines or websites. What are their needs? Does anything overlap with what you could possibly write about? I covered restaurant reviews for a local magazine for a bit, it hardly covered the cost of me checking out these places, but it was fun and gave me a regular byline. You could try book reviews which may add up to a free book or maybe there is a new and growing parenting website that you follow, which might be open to looking at your work.

Look around, pay attention to what is happening in your community print-wise and check out new sites that need content. I also looked at very knish publications that probably don’t get as many submissions. My second published piece was in a lovely little magazine most people have never even heard of called Tea Magazine. I published my story, “Tea and Toast” about the comfort of tea. Perhaps you love sewing or glass blowing, find a publication that speaks to this specific passion.

A great resource for finding publications looking for writers is the Writer’s Market (so many publications you have never even heard of). This source is updated every other year and I use it to find both places I want to write for and possible homes for already written pieces. There are also Writer’s Markets for specific needs such as fiction and poetry. I also love to spend an hour at a bookstore flipping through magazines where I would love to someday see my byline.

After you find a couple options of where to send your work, we will next tackle the crafting of that query letter.